I'm sorry, I don't like it.

I'm facing the black wall. I've said before and now, I'm saying it to myself. Because I'm dying. I feel horrible inside. Have I been changing,
am I changing? If so, could somebody tell me please, is it for the better, or the worse.

Everyday's like torture. I'm sorry,
I've fallen hard to the ground. Night by night goes by. I glance every few seconds at the communication device. I've decided to give it a break. Quit the anxiety, stop the disappointment -
just turn it off, so I'd stop guessing. These hands of mine disobey me. Can't seem to control myself.

It's a down for my energy level. Concentration? What's that. It's drifted so far away from me,
I've no might to search for it. The big day? It's going to be a fair disaster for me. When I set myself down to seriousness, I stare and my mind flies somewhere else.

Bring me back, screw this feeling. Immunity engulfing me. How I wish I could stay inside.

[By the way, Topless5's promotion's ended. Sniffs. So we zoomed for pizza today.]

Sense of urgency please. Only 18 more days to the first paper. [ Doesn't 18 ring a bell? ] (:

Met up with the Darlings today [ town which was scarily empty ] - Celest and Joey. Did the usuals, ate alot, came home with some kind of ball-like stomach. A whole week's worth of work-out, gone.
Nevertheless, worth it. (:

Screwed up my Bio practical. Badly. Os? I'm definitely not prepared for. My brain seemed to have frozen, apparently unable to absorb a single thing. God, please help.
All the anxiety, all the stress [ if any ].

Sweets.
How strong you've become [really. These aren't just words of comfort]. I'm looking forward to Saturday. Been so long and I'm real sorry if I haven't exactly been Aunt Agony for you [with all the mugging that needs to be done]. I once promised you all the time in the world and I'm planning to keep my every word [after November, ok?]. Let's fly to the moon where we'll be the only ones there. Space shuttles can't find us no matter how they try. Our luminous cave, I'm building.
Love you.

Is there someone out there?


















Apparently not.

Anyway.
Ought to get my ass down to the books real soon. Practical's in two days' time. So much to get down to. Yet I'm all absorbed doing otherwise. I've lost the will.

I feel punched.

That wasn't so bad.

People always get too caught up in their own joys to notice others' unhappiness. True as it is.
Anyhow, happiness! That'll be me for quite some time, I think. (:
Did this hilarious video after school today. A really good example of cheap production. [Sniggers]. Sometimes I wonder if we're really sixteen. It'd be good memories to look back upon anyway.

Walk away. Don't turn around cos you may see me cry.

Day out with Brits yesterday. Grins. Had the most awesome time together. Did everything imaginable. Smirks.
Had a haircut. It's kind of ugly when it isn't styled.
Repeat after me: disgusting butch.
-winks to Gina-

Anyway. Chinese results'll be out tomorrow. Happily misled us into thinking otherwise. Not that it makes a difference. And the final 5 of my bobby pins've died too. -.-

The countless maybe-s.

Almost nine hours with Sweets yesterday. It isn't enough. No, it isn't enough. And so we caught up with the recents. Went chocolat-ing, diet-breaking and more.
It must've been the 'IT' day, for several reasons. (:

The drops of rain, they fall all over. This awkward silence makes me crazy. The glow inside burns light upon her. I'll try to kiss you, if you let me.
Tidal waves, they rip right through me. Tears from eyes worn, cold and sad. Pick me up now, I need you so bad.
Your vows of silence fall all over . The look in your eyes makes me crazy. I feel the darkness break upon her. I'll take you over, if you let me.

I know what you're doing.

So I heard. It's not going to be easy. Yesterday may have easily been the happiest day yet. (:
So I look from afar. May you be smiling or just carrying that cute face you've. Everyday there's a motivation, now. The long lost one I could never seem to find, is back.
Someday I'm going to look back and feel, be it foolishness or contentness. Now's all that matters.
I think.

Time to get my head into the books. I must be the last person in Singapore to start. No school for me until next Tuesday. Hopefully I'd get started. [Uh huh. With all my books under the table in school, sure, no problem!]

You fulfill my every desire.

Top to bottom.

1. My hair's in a real bad condition. The texture's fine, I'm happy. But it's way too curly.
2. My eyes've been as dry as Dick Turner's farm. [Must be the contacts.] I've got it all planned out already though. These four pairs'll last me till next february. [With the daily ones in between.]
3. My nail has chipped. Badly. I've only two long nails left out of ten. [Joey thinks she has six fingers on one hand.]
4. My tan's like yellow.
5. Invasion of fats.

It's bad, it's real bad.
Anyway.. My phone's back. [Not that anyone missed it because Mom was nice enough to lend me hers.]
Sleep's caught up with me. [I've had 12 hours each for the past two nights.]
And I'm on a diet. [Yes, again.] But this time it's succeeding. For food makes me sick.
Except vegetables and fruits.

I was walking one day. It seemed to be snowing leaves. So I bent down and picked the one which had just fallen off a tree up, and turned it over.
I've turned over a new leaf! Thus I'm nice, and I don't bitch.

The sane and the insane rivalry. Paranoia's brought me to my knees. Lord please please please, take away my anxiety.